The title pretty much will sum up this entire post, but it’s been on my mind for sure. With wedding planning there are sure to be some minor speed bumps along the way, as life has a tendency to slow us down so we don’t get in an accident. With the melding of two families, especially when there is a joint effort in the planning, there’s bound to be some differing of opinions. But all of these things need to be taken in an eternal perspective, because in the end, it’s about the marriage of a man and a woman that love each other.
If you are familiar with the Bible, you may have heard something to the effect of that the man should “cleave unto his wife”. This will be an adjustment perhaps more for the family of the groom than anyone else. I for one have felt like I’ve been needing to cleave to something for quite some time, I just didn’t know what or that it was a “who” in the first place! At least in North American culture, when a couple decides to wed, they start their own family unit, starting with themselves, and then later add the subsequent minions. The parents of both parties are involved and their guidance and wisdom cherished, but in the end, that couple will have to make the final decision.
As for the speed bumps that WILL occur during wedding planning, be aware that no one lives in a fairy tail world with a freeway with no speed limit to marriage, that would be totally unrealistic. Any Hollywood film is either associated with the chase, or the break up, and I think that sometimes we can find ourselves looking at relationships with that same perspective. If we actually had movies and TV shows about the actual relationship when there wasn’t the chasing, where it didn’t end when the hero finally gets the girl, that would be actual reality TV. I suspect it wouldn’t do much for ratings of course, taking out the trash and doing the dishes don’t make much in the way of drama and conflict we crave.
From what I’ve experienced so far, slowing down for the speed bump instead of crashing into it is always a better way to handle things. To parallel the car analogy a little further, think of what this does to the frame of the car, the alignment of the wheels, and the passengers when your moms minivan hits that cement impediment faster than I can eat a hot dog(which is pretty fast). The same happens to family ties, the couple, and anyone that you interact with if we don’t take a step back and see what the speed bump can do for us.
Sure, there might be some tension, but we can use it to establish stronger relationships, to have honest and open conversation about how we feel, and in the end make it to the most important part, the wedding! Here I catch myself making that same old race to the finish, when I need to reprogram myself to not think of the wedding as the finish, it is the beginning of life’s greatest journey, which WILL have speed bumps. So consider these ones practice, slow down, look around, and take it all in, everything will be okay.