As you may have noticed, this blog has wandered some from its origins of wedding planning, but I assure you that it will be back on track soon enough. Until that time, I get to write the musings of my heart, and I do find that writing them down helps me put all those important thoughts into their proper places. Luckily for all of you, you get to be a part of them, for better or for worse! Today I would like to talk about the importance of dating to me, and what has worked and what hasn’t in leading me to the beginning of the longest and most rewarding date ever, marriage!
My dating history before I met Courtney was pretty few and far between, and nothing ever more serious than a strong “liking” of one another that was mutually agreed upon. I’m not really disappointed with that, I was able to have lots of healthy interactions with young ladies through my late teens, going on lots of dates as friends or in small groups. While I never had really had much in the way of the “girlfriend” experience, I feel I got to see a lot of the traits and qualities in them and myself that were good, and ones that could use some tweaking.
Many of the activities that I went out and did for dates were simple and easy, including things like going out for food or treats of some kind, going for walks, hiking, movies, swimming, and any kind of sports or outdoor activities. I suppose I was already using some very good advice a good friend gave me about first dates. His theory was, if you don’t know the girl very well, do something that you like doing, and you will find out pretty fast how well you mesh together. Not that she has to love all your hobbies, it’s very likely she may not like getting dirty working on a car or driving your truck through a giant mud hole that had a perfectly good road next to it, but she will see you doing something you love and trying to share that with her, and that’s what counts.
Another piece of advice I’ve held in high regard is always call her to actually go out on a date, none of this texting business! At least on the first one, and I don’t think it’s old fashioned, I think it’s just a gentlemanly thing to do. Ask her if she would like to go out on a date with you, most people(myself included), don’t do well with the whole reading between the lines business, so asking if they want to “hang out” doesn’t cut it unless you really do want to put yourself in the friend zone before you even begin.
Before I continue I have to put a disclaimer in here that with my soon to be wife, I definitely made the mistake of asking her to “hang out” in person, and I will have to ask her if I even called her for our first date. I’d like to think I did, but I’ll have to confirm that when I talk with her next. When we’ve talked about that date she did tell me that leading up to it she wasn’t 100 percent sure if I was interested in more than friendship, but she had a sneaky suspicion as I tried to make up for that tactical error by telling her I thought she was cute! Moral of that story is don’t do as I did, but if they really are the one, they end up loving you enough to look past your faults and love you for who they see you to be.
This post may need to be continued, I’m not finished with my thoughts quite yet, but to save you from developing some hefty calluses on your scrolling fingers we shall cut it short for now. Dating is definitely different for everyone, but for myself it’s always been a learning experience, which means that mistakes can still be a good thing! When you finally find the right person, you get to perfect the art of dating each other for forever, so if you haven’t found them yet, keep practicing!