Absence. Such a sad word!
Probably an important detail to mention, this is a long distance style wedding planning event! Granted that makes my job as the groom something of a middle man with my dear fiancé, but I will address that in later posts! My main point today is the whimsical torture of being separated from the one that you love! Thank goodness for the miracle of Skype and other such forms of communication, being able to see one another I think makes it easier right? Or maybe we are just torturing each other and should take up snail mail so it’s more romantic! But this is 2014, which means we are all about instant gratification, why wait when we can see each other now!
I believe the saying is something to the effect of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? If my heart grows any fonder I am going to have a Grinch-esque style experience and be able to lift Santa’s sleigh full of gifts! Granted we should be getting used to this experience, our relationship was born in long distance in a sense, and we both can not wait until we are no longer separated!
I suppose I should offer some kind of advice instead of using this as a sounding board for my long distance woes.
Tips on surviving long distance!
Oh what solace just a few pictures offer. Especially pictures that are taken together with your significant other, they can bring back wonderful, happy, and joyful memories that will make you smile! Followed by perhaps an overload of loving feelings, but that’s the growing fonder part!
2. Communicate, but not just serious stuff!
One thing I have appreciated a great deal is just having fun with my wonderful wife-to-be. She truly is beautiful, smart, talented, funny, and my best friend. While I’ll admit a good 50 percent of our conversations via the internet involve telling each other how much we love and miss one another, I never thought I could have so much fun just talking to someone and being myself, even a bit goofy! The internet and technology has seemed to be a place where anonymity is rampant, and meaningful relationships are a vapid concept, but my experience with being in a healthy relationship through such mediums has brought a depth I didn’t expect! We have had many deep and soul searching conversations that stretched for hours, getting to know each other in ways that are almost as good as being together in real life(although there is no real substitute, don’t get me wrong!). We also just have fun! We are not above silly faces, bad jokes and puns, or even moments of silence.
Bottom line, talk to each other often!
3. Take time for yourself
This has seemed to be important for both of us, making sure that while we keep in contact as often as we can manage, (which doesn’t seem often enough!) it’s helped that we both have meaningful activities in our separate temporary abodes. Be it work, school, exercise, all these things are still important to do, otherwise I picture two brains in jars side by side, happily communicating over the internet with no actual life experiences to bring to the table. I should mention that every time I think about brains in this way, they are always purple in colour, too many cartoons perhaps?
4. Share yourself fearlessly
Being that my fiancé and I haven’t known each other for very long by todays standards, we are still getting to know each other. Granted, I feel that I’ve always known her and that my life before her was just an intensive training program so that she would even consider a first date with me, but I’m sure these are the feelings of all those that are in love! Sharing my feelings, weaknesses, and deepest thoughts with her has been one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. In my very limited experience at this whole relationship business, I think that might be what it’s all about, giving your whole self to that other person without any reservations. My guess is, that as time goes on, you grow closer and closer as the walls continue to fall down, and together you both reach the innermost parts of each others souls, becoming perfectly bonded and unified. This is all in theory of course, but I would love to think that this is how it will happen!
For the moment this is all that comes to mind, and I don’t want to write a novel on this quite yet, I’ll need my future wife to co-author with me to give her side of the story! Hopefully this helps any that are blessed to be in love, and are in the position to have it grow fonder through the test of absence!